


Bucky. Remembers. Everything.

by StarlitMorning



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes Returns, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 16:23:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1905729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlitMorning/pseuds/StarlitMorning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Shanology, who explained why it really makes sense that Bucky wouldn’t wander helplessly after the events of CA: TWS. He’s a strong survivor, and would get back on his feet pretty quickly and find Steve and start having more adventures. </p>
<p>I agreed, and then said I’d write a fic about it and HOLY HELL here we are thousands of words later.<br/>Note: Some content is NSFW.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shanology](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanology/gifts).



[It all started with this post.](http://shanology.tumblr.com/post/89136730640/bucky-remembers-everything)

\----------

Bucky Barnes. 1917 - 1944.

'But I'm not dead,' he thinks, giving the glass panel at the Smithsonian a hard stare. He clenches a gloved metal fist.

"Pretty damn brave, if you ask me," a dark haired man says to his wife, the couple standing about four feet away from Bucky. Bucky lowers his eyes, turning away and walking out before anyone notices the long hair falling out of his baseball cap.

He’s nearing the exit when an alarm beeps sharply. He looks around, a bit wild-eyed, as a girl in a blue uniform approaches. The word “neutralize” flashes across his mind for a moment but he tamps it down.

The girl - he thinks girl, but in reality she’s probably about the same age he looks - stops, metal detector wand in hand. She gives him a look.

"Iraq or Afghanistan?"

"What?"

"Seen enough vets come through here. Also.. most folks don’t wear gloves in summer so I’m guessing you have a prosthetic under there. So… which is it?"

She’s direct, but not rude. Bucky weighs the notion of sprinting away but realizes he has an out.

"Afghanistan," he says with a sigh. It’s partly true - he has been there, and knows enough Farsi and Pashto to get by. "You’re very observant… or maybe you read my mind," he adds, shifting his feet apart as she scans him with the wand. His face looks a bit pained.

"Don’t worry, I don’t need to touch you. And mind reading, that’s not my area," she says with a grin. She tucks a lock of white hair behind her ear, a stark contrast to the rest, which is dark brown.

He tries to smile back, but it doesn’t come easy. How long had it been since he had a conversation that wasn’t about a mission?

"You’re all set," she says, putting the wand away.

"Thanks," Bucky replies. He glances out the door. ‘Now what?’ he thinks. The HYDRA safe house wasn’t an option - not that he wanted to go there anyway.  
"You got someplace to go?" the girl asks after him, not too loudly. Bucky’s ensemble doesn’t exactly scream ‘stable home life,’ he realizes. He looks at her for a moment without speaking.

"There’s a shelter just about a mile from here. Just take 9th Street north to G Street… you can’t miss it." She pauses. "My brother spent some time there before he got back on his feet," she admits.

"Thank you, that’s very kind, miss - I don’t even know your name," Bucky says a bit awkwardly.

"Marie," she replies with a smile. "And you are?"

"J-Jim. Rogers. Jim Rogers," he says, nodding politely.

"Well, Jim Rogers, I wish you good luck." Marie says, then returns to her post.

—————

Bucky heads down the street, and within a few minutes he sees it: Mount Carmel House. He opens the door, approaching an elderly woman with large silver earrings and a colorful, floral dress.

"How may I help you?" she asks brightly as Bucky makes his way through the lobby.

"Evening, ma’am," Bucky says. "By any chance do you have a bed available tonight?"

"You’re in luck," she says, looking at a chart on her computer. A few clicks later, she looks up. "One just opened up this morning." She hands Bucky a sign in sheet, which he fills out with the name ‘Jim Rogers’ and hands back. The woman then gives him a plastic ticket and directs him to a room down the hall.  
"Thanks very much," he says. "Oh - is there a computer lab anywhere here I might be able to use?"

"Three doors down from here," the woman says. "Shower kits are in the washroom, everything you need," she adds.

"Thanks again." Bucky sits down on the bed as the woman leaves. He contemplates sleeping for a few hours, but decides there’s something he wants to do more.

—————

Bucky double checks the lock on the shower stall door before peeling off his clothes, one layer at a time. He’s used to feeling dirty - soaked in some variation of blood, grime, or deceit. Showers were always cold with HYDRA, too. Hot water - heat of any kind, really - activated his memories and made him more unstable. He fought the programming harder when he got to shower, so HYDRA had a habit of keeping him from doing it.

Freed from this constraint - and his clothing - Bucky steps under the hot spray and lets out an audible sigh. The warmth seeps into his bones, and his mind wanders, one face appearing through the fog.

'Steve.'

Bucky licks his lips and swallows, checking the door again. Filling his flesh and blood hand with body wash, he cleans himself slowly, skin turning pink all over from the hot water. His long hair falls in his face as he reaches down, stroking once over the slightly hard length between his legs.

This was a luxury he almost never had - for decades. Breath quickening slightly, he tightens his hand around himself, stroking faster, thumb flicking over the tip.

'Stevie, don't stop,' he thinks, mind flashing to a chilly Brooklyn apartment, his best friend tangled in the sheets with him. Suddenly the hand around his cock is slim and delicate, but no less determined. He pictures blue eyes holding his hostage with their intensity. 'Come on, Buck,' the small voice in his head says, 'you've gotta let go.'

Bucky bites down hard on his bottom lip as he tenses and comes, quickly washing the liquid down the drain with more soap. He half-collapses against the white tile wall, thrust back into the present.

"Fuck," he whispers to himself, head pressed against the tile. He shakes his head, washing his hair and body one more time before shutting off the water and wrapping himself in a towel. He doesn’t want to put the dirty clothes back on, but will have to until he can get some new ones. Once dressed, Bucky walks back to his bed, not speaking to anyone else. He’s asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow.

—————

A few hours later, Bucky jolts awake, sweating and shivering. He hopes he didn’t cry out in his sleep, but no one is looking at him suspiciously, so he guesses not. He sits up, rubbing his eyes as if it will erase the vivid dream. He was back on the carrier with Steve, punching his face, moments before it collapsed. His stomach turns as he relives the moment Steve broke through his programming.

'I'm with you till the end of the line,' he'd said, offering up no fight whatsoever as Bucky wailed on him. Then the crashing - and Bucky woke up.  
Now in the dark, it was easy to remember why he pulled Steve from the water. His best friend, Steve. He’d pulled him out of all kinds of situations before. Bucky couldn’t walk away until he knew Steve would survive. He didn’t really want to walk away at all, but his programming screamed to take shelter, get hidden, so he did.

Bucky swings his legs onto the floor, sliding on his shoes and quietly walking out of the room to avoid waking anyone else.  
He opens the door to the empty computer lab, going inside and sitting at a station. Technology has been a constant in his programming, so nothing looks foreign to him. He pulls up Google and starts typing.

'James Buchanan Barnes' - search.

The results pour in, along with photo after photo. He clicks on one, taken with the Howling Commandos not long after Steve rescued them. Bucky runs a hand through his hair, then looks more closely at the photo.

‘Short hair,’ he thinks. ‘I need a haircut.’

He clicks print, taking the picture from the printer tray and folding it up before putting it in his pocket.

Bucky gets up, walking back into the room with the beds and lying down again. He closes his eyes, seeing the picture in his mind, Steve smiling at him from behind his eyelids. He wants to - needs to - see that smile again. ‘Tomorrow I’ll get cleaned up properly,’ he thinks. Bucky drifts off again, hand resting over his pocket.

—————-

Bucky shuffles into the cafeteria the next morning, nodding appreciatively as he is handed a tray of food. He feels at his pocket, imagining Steve is right there, as though he could carry him by his side. He eats the oatmeal, eggs and sausage, drinking a small cup of coffee with it.

After returning the tray, Bucky sets about on his mission - a word he uneasily reclaims - to find his old self. He carefully stakes out a location he knows was a HYDRA cash drop. When he’s satisfied it’s safe, he retrieves the money. Its enough for a room for the night in a decent motel, some new clothes, and of course, a trip to the barbershop - his first stop.

The door dings when Bucky walks in, and the man standing inside the door nods at him.

"Evening, sir," he says. "How much for a shave and haircut?"

"Normally 40," the gray-haired man replies, "but for you, I’ll do 30."

Bucky nods. “Appreciate that.”

"Have a seat."

Bucky starts seeing himself again with each snip of the scissors. He even smiles a bit. His heart races through the entire shave, though; his programming warring with his nature. He manages not to attack the man scraping a razor over his skin, and before long, he looks like a new man.

"Wow," he says, thanking the barber and paying with a tip before leaving.

Next stop: clothes. Bucky looks clean enough to get into a menswear shop without raising too many eyebrows. He picks out brown slacks, a button down, suspenders, a belt, shoes, socks and a jacket. He pays and walks out wearing the whole ensemble - with a spare undershirt and some shorts in a bag.  
Finally, Bucky gets a room and settles in for the night. He feels more like a man again - the man he once was. He still wishes the bed were more like the cot at the shelter, though. It’s much too soft. He ends up curling up on the floor with the comforter.

——————-

The next morning, Bucky gathers his courage and makes the trip he’s been preparing for all along. He goes to the apartment he knows belongs to his best friend.

Bucky pushes the buzzer, and waits.

Nothing. His stomach turns. He pushes it again.

Still nothing.

"дерьмо," he mutters. He paces around for a moment, then goes down the steps. He walks around the block, buys cigarettes, smokes two. He comes back just in time to see a car pull up and his best friend nearly walk right into him.

"Bucky?!" Steve exclaims. "It’s - you’re - but how?" He seems at a loss. "I’ve been out looking for you for days!" Steve hesitates, hands almost reaching for his best friend.

"Well, I found you," Bucky replies, easy as anything. "May I come in?" he asks.

"Yeah, course," Steve says, unlocking the door and leading him up the stairs.

Inside Steve’s apartment. The last time Bucky was here, he was trying to kill Steve. Now, he has a far different objective.

"They wiped me - constantly. I never had more than a few days off ice," he starts, surprising himself. "Otherwise I woulda found you. I would never have stopped-" Bucky chokes up, head falling in his hands.

Steve walks over to Bucky, hands resting on his shoulders. “No, Buck. If I knew you survived - I wouldn’t have been so reckless.. wouldn’t have ended up frozen myself where I couldn’t save you from that hell.”

Bucky can feel how close Steve is to him. He’s so different to before. He’s like a furnace, emanating heat. Bucky craves the heat more than anything. He thinks that’s what pushes him over the edge, makes him snap.

He grabs Steve’s collar, pulling him in for a rough kiss.

Steve freezes for a moment, then eases into it, arms sliding around Bucky’s back. He kisses Bucky back, his hold tightening. After a moment, he breaks away to speak.

"I didn’t know if we’d ever get to do that again," Steve breathes, cheeks pink, lips barely an inch from Bucky’s. Bucky smiles, resting his hands on Steve’s narrow hips.

"I must confess I’ve got a lot more in mind," he admits. Bucky slides his hands back and down, settling over the curve of Steve’s ass. He leans in again, kissing Steve before moving his lips to kiss along his jawline, trailing down his neck.

Steve’s panting now, and Bucky can feel his strong heart pounding in his chest. He backs up a foot, eyes dark, and hooks a finger in Steve’s waistband.

Without a word, Bucky drops to his knees, unzipping Steve’s pants, hauling him out and swallowing him down.

"Oh, fuck," Steve moans, hands bracing against the wall for balance.

"Language, Rogers," Bucky says playfully, before sucking Steve back down. He teases him to full hardness, tongue swirling around the head, cheeks hollowing, head bobbing. He spares a glance up at Steve, who looks positively wrecked.

"Need you," Bucky breathes after sliding off Steve’s cock with a wet pop. "Come on Stevie, come for me." It doesn’t take much after that. With a muffled cry - biting his fist - Steve comes hard into Bucky’s mouth, hips shaking. Bucky sucks him through it, licking up every last drop. He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, standing up.

Bucky grins at Steve, and his answering smile is positively feral. Bucky’s almost shocked. He didn’t even know Steve could make that face. Maybe it’s new.  
Steve grabs Bucky by the hand and just about drags him down the hall into his bedroom.

"Naked. Now," he says in what is quite clearly an order. Bucky takes off his jacket, and Steve chuckles.

"What?"

"It’s just - you’re wearing suspenders."

"So?"

"That’s not a typical… I don’t know…"

"I wore them with you… you always liked them."

"I know," Steve says. He walks closer to Bucky, sliding the straps off his shoulders. "Never mind. It’s all sexy, Buck. But I want to see more skin," he purrs, that dangerous look returning to his face. Bucky leans in to kiss it away, unbuttoning his shirt and pants. Steve peels off his t-shirt and jeans, and before long they’re both completely exposed.

Steve’s eyes linger on the arm. Bucky’s stomach drops. Shit. He’d forgotten how gruesome it could be. Steve must see his thought process though, because he quickly steps closer.

"Don’t even think about feeling ashamed," he whispers, leaning in to press impossibly soft kisses to the pink scars along the edge of the metal. Bucky shivers, tears welling up in his eyes. Steve draws him in again and they kiss feverishly, falling to the bed.

Steve crawls up next to Bucky, lining their cocks up together and taking both in his large, warm hand.

"Shit," Steve gasps, unprepared for the rush of stimulation. The hot drag of their cocks, heavy in his hand, has Bucky panting against his shoulder.

"Don’t you dare fucking stop," Bucky almost growls, teeth pressing - but not biting - against Steve’s shoulder. Steve strokes them both, hand picking up speed.

Bucky sucks two of his own fingers into his mouth, reaching behind Steve. He slides one wet finger between the cheeks of his ass. “I remember everything you like,” he purrs into Steve’s ear, the finger finding Steve’s hole and rubbing teasing circles around it.

Steve feels a jolt of pleasure. “Fuck, yes… Bucky… that’s it,” he says.

"You want me to fuck you, Stevie?" he asks, finger slipping inside, his metal hand gently squeezing the skin of Steve’s ass.

"Shit - yeah Buck, I do," Steve almost whines. Bucky pulls away then, shoving Steve face first into the pillow.

"Wha?" he says, muffled but not unhappy. Steve always liked to be manhandled a little.

Bucky gets behind Steve, kissing his way down the muscles of his back. He spots lube on the bedside table - clearly Steve has been practicing - but glances down and realizes he’s not about to skip this part.

Pressing Steve’s cheeks apart with both hands, he licks a hot, wet stripe over his hole.

Steve cries out - more a shriek of pleasure than actual words - and Bucky smiles. “So you still like that, then?” he asks playfully.

He hears mumbling into the pillow.

"Sorry?"

"Yes, again, please," Steve repeats, a bit exasperated.

"Well, since you asked so nicely."

Bucky presses his face between the cheeks of Steve’s ass, licking enthusiastically. He flicks, swirls, pumps his tongue until Steve is a writhing mess. Pulling back, he kisses one cheek.

"Ready for me, Stevie?"

"Mmph," Steve groans. He gestures toward the lube. Bucky reaches for it, slicking himself and lining up.

"No, wait," he says, turning Steve over onto his back and hiking his legs up.

"Wanted to see your face," he breathes, gentle in contrast to their rough movements.

"Sap," Steve jabs, without venom. His eyes are soft. Bucky can see what he always saw there. Love. Acceptance. His best friend. He leans in and kisses him, Steve moaning slightly at the strong taste of himself on Bucky’s lips.

"Love you, punk," Bucky pants.

"Love you too, jerk," Steve replies. "Now fuck me," he adds, grabbing Bucky’s ass.

Bucky chuckles and slides in a little at a time, until he’s fully seated. Surrounded by Steve’s heat, he sighs. Finally. The warmth he’s been missing. He rocks his hips slightly and they both gasp, moaning.

"That’s it, Buck," Steve grits out. Bucky pumps in and out, hips snapping faster, the slap of their skin filling the bedroom.

"Fuck, Stevie," Bucky moans, nearing his peak. He can feel how close Steve must be, too. He hitches one leg up higher, changing the angle and hitting Steve’s prostate.

"Fucking hell, Bucky," Steve cries out. "Right there… yes…"

Clinging tightly to each other, the two men sail over the edge. Bucky feels Steve’s warm come coating his stomach. He looks down as they both catch their breath. His own cock still pumps gently in and out of Steve, his come easing the way. He keeps pumping until he’s too sensitive to take it and pulls out, a trail of come leaking from Steve.

Bucky collapses next to him. He leans in, kissing his shoulder. Steve kisses Bucky’s neck and they curl up together. Bucky’s the big spoon - more for the sake of tradition than anything else - and the two drift off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky stirs, cheek pressed into a warm shoulder. He blinks against the afternoon sun streaming in through Steve’s bedroom window.

"Damn," he says, voice a bit scratchy. He feels Steve give a sleepy little moan. "Stevie?"

"Mm?"

"You feeling okay?"

"Never better, Buck." Steve rolls over to face him. They lie naked, tangled in the (now rather messy) sheets. Steve smiles, leaning in to nuzzle Bucky’s neck and kiss him. Bucky blushes.

"That was fucking incredible," he says, running fingers through Steve’s hair.

Steve leans back, fixing his eyes on Bucky’s. “I don’t understand something,” he admits.

"What?"

"How are you.. you?"

Bucky nods, his chin dropping. “Ah. Well… I remember everything. HYDRA could never have me off ice for long. They tried to wipe me over and over - but it never held. Any trigger could bring it all back.”

"And this time?"

"The trigger was you."

Bucky’s mind flashes back to the bridge - was it only a couple of weeks ago? - where Steve recognized him. Where he recognized Steve. He refocuses on Steve’s face, stroking his cheek with his right hand. He props his head up, resting on the elbow of his metal arm.

"You as thirsty as I am?" Bucky asks after a moment.

"Yeah. I can get us some water," Steve says, a slightly mischievous look spreading over his features. Bucky’s brows knit together for a moment before his face just about goes completely slack.

That’s because Steve is making rather a show of himself. Swinging his legs out of bed, Steve stands up, ass firm and tight as he rises. He doesn’t move for a moment, letting Bucky take in the sight of his perfectly sculpted body. Steve grins, shuffling off to the kitchen and returning quickly, a glass of water in each hand. He hands one to Bucky, and Bucky gratefully gulps it down. He watches Steve stand next to the bed, throat swallowing his own water and setting the glass down.

"I’m torn," Bucky says, face level with Steve’s hips. "I wanna fix it so you never have to wear clothes again," he says with a grin, "but I also don’t wanna share you with anyone." Bucky reaches out, hand smoothing over Steve’s well-displayed cock. He tugs on him, enjoying the soft moan that escapes Steve’s lips as he does.

Steve climbs back between the sheets, crawling over Bucky.

"Just relax," he purrs, burrowing down until his face is level with Bucky’s now very-interested cock. Curling his tongue to cradle it, Steve sucks just a little more than the head into his mouth. Bucky’s hips stutter up almost involuntarily.

"Fuck, Stevie," he breathes.

"Mm." He pulls off with an obscene wet pop. "That’s the idea."

Bucky’s entire body shivers with anticipation. “You… wanna fuck me this time?”

Steve massages his tongue around the dark pink - almost purple head of Bucky’s dick. He nods, before proceeding to give Bucky a blowjob he’s fairly sure Steve *studied for.* At least some research had to go into that expert tongue.

Just when Bucky’s about to burst, Steve shoves his thighs apart and up, holding his gaze as he licks his balls, soaking them with his tongue. Bucky is almost wailing with pleasure as he feels Steve suck one of his balls *between his lips.

"Shit," he gasps, jolted as Steve moves on with a chuckle, his hot, wet mouth now entirely occupied with Bucky’s ass. Bucky’s thighs are shaking as he feels Steve eating him out eagerly.

"Nnngh… that’s it," Bucky pants. Steve breaks away to grab the lube off the bedside table and slick himself. He presses a tender kiss to Bucky’s hole before rising to line up and rock in.

"Mm… my turn," Steve murmurs, pressing into Bucky slowly. They fuck feverishly, Steve’s hips slapping against Bucky’s ass, Steve’s hand stroking Bucky through it.

The two men hit their peak before long, Bucky coming all over Steve’s hands. Steve brings a sticky hand to his lips, licking the come off like it’s a delicacy.  
Before round two is over, Bucky finds himself covered in a sheen of sweat, Steve’s arms wrapped around him and a cock tightly nestled between the cheeks of his ass. Consciousness slips from his grasp in the midst of sensory overload.


	3. Chapter 3

For the second time in as many hours, Bucky squints against the afternoon sun, waking up from an unplanned - though not unenjoyable - nap.

He’s a bit surprised to discover that he’s the little spoon, however. He squirms, nudging Steve.

"Hey," he says, his voice a contented hum. "Since when do you take the outside?"

Steve opens one eye, nose firmly pressed into Bucky’s hair. “Since I gave you the best sex of your life,” he murmurs, warm breath ruffling Bucky’s hair. “Now you’re my Bucky Bear again,” he adds, eyes crinkling with a smile.

Bucky snort-laughs, turning to poke Steve in the tummy. “You remember your punishment for calling me that back in the day?” he asks, fingers already preparing an assault.

"Do your worst."

Steve is almost screaming with laughter as Bucky unleashes a tickle campaign the likes of which no grown man has ever withstood. Bucky finally collapses when Steve gasps out, “you win!”

Panting, they flop over onto their backs. Steve looks over at Bucky.

"I’m so happy you’re back," he says. Bucky smiles at him, the act requiring almost no effort for a change. Their moment is interrupted by a loud gurgle.

"Hungry?" Steve asks.

"Could eat a horse," Bucky replies, patting his tummy.

"Settle for a BLT?"

"Hell yes."

Steve gives a little smirk and hops out of bed. “Okay, but we might wanna shower first,” he says with a blush. Both of them are rather sticky.

Bucky gives a predatory grin. “Works for me.”

——————-

Freshly showered and one quick round of sex later, Bucky and Steve finally make it into the kitchen. Bucky wears a soft pair of borrowed gray sweatpants, slung low over his hips. He leans against the counter, watching Steve fry up the bacon.

"Hey.. I’m almost The Naked Chef!" Steve says, a goofy grin on his face as he strikes a pose in his apron and underwear, spatula in hand.

Bucky gives a confused stare.

"It’s a show… I suppose that wasn’t important for your missions," Steve says with a sigh. "We’ll get you caught up on the fun stuff. I have a list," he adds. "My buddy Sam - you’ve met him - he’s got some great recommendations, too. He’ll help you out."

"Ah. You, um… sure he doesn’t wanna kill me?" Bucky’s stomach turns a bit. The Soldier very nearly sent Sam flying to his death… something he doesn’t think Sam forgot. "I don’t wanna step on any toes, Stevie. I know you’ve got friends-"

"*You* are my friend," Steve says, a little louder than he planned. "And more, obviously, but… no one will hurt you. I’ll make them understand… they’ll get to know you, the real you." Steve shuts off the burner, the bacon sizzling as he removes it from the pan and puts it on the sandwiches.

Bucky nods. “Okay, Cap,” he says with a smile. He’s not fully convinced, but if anyone can change minds and win hearts, it’s Steve.

They munch on the sandwiches (‘I haven’t had bacon in almost 70 years, but I swear this is better than any back then!’) and Steve gets a spare razor, toothbrush and more towels for Bucky.

Bucky looks at him, eyebrow raised. “You know I can get all that stuff too, right Steve?”

"I know," Steve pouts a little, "but I want to. You took care of me all those years… let me at least help you a little now. I still can’t believe you did all you did in a couple weeks… but Buck," he puts a hand on his shoulder, "you don’t have to be alone anymore."

Bucky feels his heart, frozen countless times over, melt in a way he thought it might never do again.

"Punk," he says, cuffing Steve under his arm and drawing him in for a kiss. They stand in the bathroom, lips locked together as the sun starts to dip lower in the sky.

Steve breaks away. “Okay. If it’s all right with you, I think we should ease into the things you missed - the fun things - with a movie night. I’ll order in pizza and we can snuggle on the sofa,” he adds, giving Bucky’s ass a playful squeeze. “And everything else can start tomorrow… with a visit to Sam.”

Bucky bites his bottom lip, but nods. A smile spreads over his face. “Still the star-spangled man with a plan,” he says with a cheeky grin. “Let’s do it.”


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky munches happily on buttery popcorn, his metal arm around Steve’s shoulders. Two empty pizza boxes sit on the table in front of them, and the bluish glow of the TV is the only light in the room as they sit cuddled on the sofa.

"Steve-"

"Shush.. you gotta watch this part!"

Bucky smirks, a bit taken aback, though he’s really not surprised.

'That little droid did it!' emits from the speakers, and Steve looks over excitedly at Bucky.

Bucky grins back at him. “Remind me again why we watched the movies about their kids first? I feel like I know how this ends.”

"It’s the prequels, Buck."

"Ok. Seems to me they shoulda stuck with the classics."

"Hey! You’ve got to appreciate Star Wars. It’s *Star Wars.* Anyway, it’s the back story."

"I’m with you," Bucky says, leaning in to kiss Steve on the cheek.

Once the credits roll, Bucky stretches, stiff all over. “I think my butt is asleep,” he says, chuckling. “Seriously, Stevie… you might need to wake it up.” He gets up, kneeling on the sofa and looking over his shoulder at Steve.

A loud smack rings through the apartment.

"Did-did you just…?"

Bucky pins Steve down on the sofa, his eyes wild for a moment.

"Buck… I don’t know what came over me…"

"Shut the fuck up and do it again," Bucky bites out, pupils blown wide. He leans in to kiss Steve, reassuring him. "It’s okay, really," he whispers, gulping back air. "I - I liked it." Bucky catches his bottom lip between his teeth. "Besides, this is pretty tame as kinks go, right?" he asks, nuzzling Steve.

Steve wants to do it, but there’s a knot in his stomach. “Buck,” he says, “I want to make you happy. But can we agree it won’t get too harsh? I have a difficult time hitting you, really.”

"Of course," Bucky says, nibbling sweetly on Steve’s ear. "Just get me a little pink, baby," he purrs, getting up and leaning over the arm of the sofa. He shimmies the gray sweatpants down over his hips and pokes out his ass, grinning back at Steve.

"Fuck," Steve whispers, smoothing his large, warm hands over Bucky’s ass. He rubs circles into the cheeks, then lifts his right hand and brings it down with a sharp slap.

"Mmm," Bucky moans, hips rocking back into the pleasure and sting of it. "More, please Stevie," he whimpers.

Steve spanks him again, and again, each time drawing moans of pleasure out of Bucky. He stops when both cheeks are a soft pink, leaning his face close to them.

"Now I want to kiss it all better," he says, pressing wet lips to the hot skin. He covers Bucky’s ass in gentle kisses, and Bucky almost comes on the spot.  
He turns to face Steve, tackling him back to the sofa a second time.

"I know we should sleep tonight… but all I want is to fuck you some more," Bucky growls into Steve’s ear. He likes this. Not just because it’s - well - sex with Steve, but also because he doesn’t have to think about anything else. Bucky knows too much, remembers too much for a peaceful, still mind. He’s getting a bit feverish in his kissing, and Steve notices. Nothing gets past Steve.

"Mmm.. Buck.. relax a little there," he says between the kisses, stroking Bucky’s back. "You know I want that too, but are you okay?"

Bucky frowns, a pained look on his face. “I just… wanted some time not to think about… everything.” He rests his cheek on Steve’s shoulder.

"I want to help, Buck," Steve says, stroking Bucky’s hair. "But I’d rather not fuck you through misery… not sure I want you to associate the two."

"That’s rather psychological of you."

"Well, I am seeing a counselor. Might help you too," he says. "Nothing to feel bad about. You’ve been through hell, quite literally. You deserve a chance to sort through it." He holds Bucky’s face, cupping it in one hand. "They used you. I don’t know if anyone’s said it to your face yet, so I’m saying it. Nothing that happened.. was your fault."

Bucky’s face relaxes a bit.

"Okay," he says. "Thanks, Stevie."

Steve smiles. Bucky slips a hand between their bodies and starts rubbing Steve’s cock through his pants.

"So just to be clear," Bucky says, his deadpan tone betraying nothing, "you don’t want me to do this?"

Steve squints, play-angrily. “Don’t you dare stop.”


	5. Chapter 5

"Ready, Buck?" Steve calls through the bathroom door. Bucky is staring at himself in the mirror, adjusting his tie. He’s dressed in his best - with a little input from Steve. He has one brown leather glove over his left hand (‘Why not white?’ ‘Just trust me,’ Steve tells him). Bucky looks almost like he did the day he shipped out for England.

He comes out of the bathroom.

"Wow," Steve says, cheeks pink. Bucky smiles at him, blushing. Steve couldn’t look more *different* to the day Bucky shipped out, but he’s still the same man underneath it all.

Something for which Bucky is very grateful at this particular moment.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Bucky asks for at least the tenth time. "I tried to kill more than one of your friends. You think they’ll want me just strolling around?"

"Buck, for the last time, they will love you. They need to meet you. You were not yourself before. It’s going to be okay," Steve says, kissing Bucky on the cheek and cuffing an arm around him, in much the same way Bucky did when Steve was nine inches shorter.

They leave the apartment, Steve shooting furtive glances over at Bucky.

"What?"

"I feel like I’m slummin’ in my t-shirt," he admits.

"I knew I overdressed!" Bucky says, exasperated. "Why didn’t you say? We’re going back."

"No we’re not," Steve says, grabbing Bucky’s arm as he pivots to go back to Steve’s apartment. "You look gorgeous. If you’re really uncomfortable you can slide off the jacket. But you look sharp, Buck. It’s the look of a man I trust," he adds with a smile.

Bucky relaxes a bit. “Okay.”

They hit the buzzer outside Avengers Tower.

"Tell me again?"

"Sam, Tony, Bruce, Nat, Clint and Thor. They all know you’re coming."

In the elevator, Bucky taps his foot nervously. Steve reaches out and takes his hand. He leans in close to whisper into his ear.

"I love you, Buck. You can do this."

Bucky feels some of his nerves melt away. He can get a foothold on that. “Love you too,” he says. “Punk.”

The doors spring open.

——————

“The geriatrics have arrived! Welcome, gentlemen, I trust your journey was not too tiring,” Tony cracks in his typical fashion. Bucky is caught off guard but manages a smile.

"You must be the Stark kid," Bucky says with a grin, reaching to shake Tony’s hand. Tony shakes back firmly.

"The one and only. But you can call me Iron Man. Though I guess you’re a little more iron than I am."

Bucky glances at his arm, hidden by the shirt, and shrugs. He sees a lot of Howard in Tony. Same cocky attitude.

"Bruce Banner, Bucky Barnes," Steve says next as the doctor approaches.

"Nice to meet you," Bruce says quietly, adjusting his glasses and nodding respectfully.

"Likewise," Bucky replies.

"Thor, I’d like you to meet my best friend," Steve calls out as the Asgardian walks out of the kitchen.

"An honor to make your acquaintance," Thor says. "Have you ever had these? Natasha calls them ‘potato chips’ but they appear to be mostly salt. I can’t seem to stop eating them."

Bucky grins, rather at a loss as he watches Thor munch on the bag of chips.

Steve brings Bucky a bit farther into the room, to the sofa where Nat and Sam are sitting. Bucky can hardly hold their gaze. He feels shame creeping over him like a blanket. ‘Don’t break,’ he tells himself.

He finally gets the courage to meet their eyes. “I - I’m so sorry,” Bucky says, words spilling out in a rush. His eyes well up. “Thank you for protecting Steve from me… when I wasn’t myself.”

Sam, to his eternal credit, bears no ill will. He claps Bucky on the back.

"Water under the bridge, man. I’m just glad Steve got you back."

Nat eyes Bucky curiously but doesn’t speak.

"Natalya," he says, and she jumps slightly. "I know I hurt you more than most. It’s a lot to ask, but I hope one day you can forgive me."

She reaches out tentatively to shake his hand. Bucky kisses the back of it, all the charm of his youth in his eyes.

"You certainly don’t seem like the man who shot a round through me," she says, lips quirking to the side. "We all love Steve, so you’re in on that. Fair to say I’ll have an eye on you anyway?"

"Fair enough."

Clint walks over and introduces himself in his usual unassuming way, and Bucky starts to relax.

Steve walks up behind Bucky while he’s talking to Bruce and takes his arm.

"Mind if I borrow him for a minute?"

"Sure thing, Cap."

Steve and Bucky step out onto the balcony.

"You’re doing great, Buck," Steve says, beaming with pride.

Bucky smiles back, then looks around a bit nervously as Steve’s arm wraps around his waist. “Uh.. Stevie.. should we really..?”

"They know, and they don’t care."

"What is it they know, exactly?"

"That I’m in love with you, dummy," Steve says, planting a kiss on Bucky’s lips. Bucky hears a loud whoop inside and turns in time to see Nat punch Tony in the shoulder.

He looks down, chuckling. “You asked for it, Stevie,” he says, grabbing him and dipping him dramatically for a long kiss.

This time Bucky’s sure he heard several cheers and at least one ‘ow ow!’ through the sliding door. He straightens them up, smiles and takes a bow.

—————-

Bucky crosses paths with Nat in the bathroom hallway just as she’s walking out. He meets her gaze, smiling hopefully.

She stops, resting one hand on his arm gently. “My best friend had his mind hijacked for a while. You should talk to him. And… I also know what it is to be un-made.” She pauses. “You just keep on fighting to be you, okay? Cause if Steve loses you again I don’t think he’ll survive it.”

"Thank you," Bucky says, "and I’ll never stop fighting." He pulls her in for a quick hug. Nat’s eyes go wide, but she sighs and squeezes back gently for a moment.

"Well, I’m pretty sure The Soldier doesn’t do hugs, so that about does it for me, Bucky," she says, sauntering off with a grin.

Bucky walks into the bathroom and looks at his own reflection. He catches sight of a photo on the shelf.

It’s Howard Stark with a very small Tony.

Then an icy wave hits Bucky. He killed that man. Distant, cold sabotage of one vehicle. Left that little boy orphaned.

Bucky’s stomach turns and he falls to his knees, throwing up in the toilet. He starts crying, flushes the mess, wipes his mouth with tissues.

A knock shakes him out of his fog.

"Buck? It’s me, open up."

Bucky stands, splashing water on his face. He opens the door.

"It was me, Stevie. I killed Tony’s parents."

Steve walks in, wrapping Bucky in a warm hug. “Hey… shhh… Buck it’s all right.. we knew that.”

"What?? Tony too?"

"Yeah. It wasn’t you."

"But I *remember it,* Steve," Bucky bites out, harsher than he means to.

Steve licks his lips, stroking Bucky’s hair. “You’ve done really well. We can go home if you want. I know today was a lot.”

"Okay," Bucky says, nodding.

Tony is standing in the doorway as they walk out of the bathroom together.

"Boys, this is a tall tower but not tall enough to make you part of the mile-high club," he quips before catching sight of Bucky’s red-rimmed eyes. His gaze flashes to the picture.

"Uh oh. I’m sensing a little PTSD here," Tony says, "everything ok?"

Bucky nods. “I will be. Thank you.”

Steve pats Tony on the shoulder. “Think we’re gonna head home for now. Thanks for having us over,” he says.

Bucky and Steve say goodbye to the others and walk out.

"I’m sorry," Bucky says in the elevator.

Steve hits the stop button, the elevator screeching to a halt.

"What the f-" Bucky begins, before Steve cuts him off by crashing into him with a kiss.

"Don’t you dare," Steve says. "I am proud of you, you did so well today. You were brave and humble and kind and every bit the man I love," he says, arms going around his waist. "Now I’m pretty sure Tony can see the camera in this elevator, so unless you want him to see me doing something truly filthy to you, I suggest you be a good Bucky and realize you’re a wonderful person who won’t let history define him."

Bucky’s face melts into a little smile. “I’m always a good Bucky. I’m your Bucky Bear,” he says, chuckling.

"Thought I wasn’t allowed to say that."

"*You’re* not."

Steve shakes his head, grinning. The two of them walk to the train station and ride back to Steve’s apartment, Bucky leaning on Steve as they get back and pressing him up against the wall.

Bucky kicks the door closed, loosening his tie. “I think the real hero today deserves some credit,” he says. “Maybe even a little hero worship.”

Bucky falls to his knees, licking his lips and smiling up at Steve. Steve shakes his head, smiles back, then falls to his own knees as well.

"Level ground, Buck. I wouldn’t be me without you." He pulls Bucky down on the carpet.

"So we’re… lying on the floor now?"

"Yup."

"Can level ground include both of us equally not wearing pants?"

Steve barks out a laugh. “Yeah, yeah I think that sounds fair.” Bucky giggles, fumbling with Steve’s zipper and winding up in a cuddled tangle on the carpet. He locks eyes with Steve. “Thank you,” he says.

"For what?"

"For… making me feel safe. Reminding me who I am, that I could love and be loved."

Steve kisses Bucky’s forehead. They don’t talk anymore.

They don’t need to.


	6. Chapter 6

Bucky’s first foray into the Avengers’ world makes him more determined than ever to make things right. He can tell the others are willing to give him a chance because of Steve, and he wants to prove himself on his own.

It isn’t long before he gets his chance.

Three weeks after meeting the others, Bucky gets to work training. He and Steve spar with each other, and sometimes Nat even jumps in the ring. She’s really good at hand-to-hand combat.

Steve’s standing outside the ring on one such occasion. Bucky’s circling Nat before she gets in at just the right angle and sweeps him. A split second later, he’s flat on his back.

"Three points to me," she says with a smirk, knees braced on either side of him. She looks up at Steve. "Oh… sorry Cap," she says with a little blush.  
"Not jealous," Steve says with a shrug. "You’re a beautiful lady, Nat, but I’m more his type."

Bucky laughs despite his awkwardness. “I am right here, you know.”

"Oh, sorry Barnes. From on top here it was starting to look like you melted into the-"

Bucky flips Nat, pinning her in two moves.

"You sneaky little…"

Bucky plants a friendly kiss on her cheek before helping her up.

Clint, Sam and Tony, who walked in moments before, stand gaping at what they just saw.

"Hey… you don’t let any of *us* kiss you when we fight," Tony complains.

"Maybe cause you’ve never pinned me before," Nat quips.

"Oh! She’s got a point, man," Sam says, elbowing him.

"Watch the wings, pigeon," Tony says with a pout.

Just then, a blaring alarm fills the room. Steve’s at Bucky’s side in seconds.

"The hell??"

"It’s a warning. We’re needed, Buck."

In a small room, Bucky suits up, hands shaking. He’s still not used to the new uniform, but he prefers it immensely to his old one.

Maria Hill’s face appears on a large screen next to him.

"Sgt. Barnes, we have a mission for the team. Your part in this is critical."

—————-

Bucky sits next to Steve in the stealth carrier as the crew takes off. He jiggles his knee a little.

Steve puts a hand on his knee, smiling. Bucky tries to smile back.

"Back in the saddle, Buck. This time I’m not letting anything happen to you."

Bucky takes a deep breath, nodding.

Sam leans over to talk to them over the sound of the engine. “You boys don’t wear chutes? How you plan to stick the landing?”

"Uh, super soldiers, duh," Steve says, pointing to himself and Bucky and grinning widely.

His eyes go wide when he sees their target through the window, floating in black water.

"That’s a mobile HYDRA base," he says, mouth suddenly dry.

"Yeah, and we’re taking it down. You cool with that, Red October?"

"Shut up, Tony - of course he is," Nat says, patting Bucky on the back.

Bucky pokes his chin out defiantly. “Let’s bring those bastards down,” he says.

What Bucky hasn’t mentioned to anyone - is the room he knows is inside that ship. The room he remembers vividly now, though he’d like to forget it. A torture chamber for his soul. Bucky pushes it from his mind and jumps from the carrier with Steve, splashing almost silently into the Indian ocean.

—————-

Bucky’s never had Steve on his side before when it came to hand to hand combat. He realizes quickly, as they dispatch a large squadron of HYDRA guards, that it’s quite an advantage.

Sam flies overheard, followed by Tony, who takes out a few more men with his Iron Man guns.

A bolt of lightning hits nearby, followed by a loud crack of thunder.

Thor barrels down several more of their enemies, wielding Mjolnir in his right hand.

Clint and Natasha sprint lightly through the halls of the ship, taking out guards along the way and staying very still.

And Hulk… does what he does best.

Bucky follows Steve several floors below deck. “We’ve got to disarm everyone here,” he says to Bucky, punching out another guard as they move down the hallway.

Bucky sees the door he wants to avoid, and finds something posted there.

He grabs the paper, crumpling it and stuffing it in his pocket. They carry on, gaining control of the ship.

Bucky quickly checks the coordinates on the paper. He slips below deck.

"Where you think you’re off to?" Clint asks.

Bucky sends a small blast his way, and he catches sight of Steve’s confused eyes a few moments later.

Bucky hits a few buttons on the elevator panel as the doors close. He presses his forehead against it.

When the doors open, Steve is on him. The stunning force of Captain Rogers, holding nothing back.

Bucky crumbles, the impact crushing the paper in his pocket. He’s dizzy but gets up, trying to get away.

"Bucky? Bucky? What happened?"

"I don’t know. They tricked me somehow, Agent Hill said I needed to follow the paper -"

"Maria Hill had nothing to do with this mission. She’s off dismantling shield with Nick Fury in Canada." Clint says, walking up to them.

"Then who-"

Tiny darts from an unseen gun put them all on their backs a moment later.

Bucky wakes up to find he and his friends are chained in the Room. Fear swims before him as he fights against the restraints.

"Bucky… I’m sorry," Steve says, face cast down.

Bucky looks at Steve and shakes off his fear. He’s not giving up just yet. He knows this place - and the source of its power. Bucky rips the chain holding his metal arm free from the wall, then flicks open the other shackle. He storms to the middle of the room, where a spinning metal barrel sits. An emergency shut-down switch, floating deep in something highly corrosive.

"Bucky, no!"

Bucky smiles back at Steve so he knows it’s him. He plunges the arm in long enough to hit that switch. It starts dissolving in moments but he gets out enough to stagger back towards the wall where the chains have all popped open.

Bucky collapses in Steve’s arms.

—————-

Surrounded by his new friends - and one old one - Bucky opens his eyes.

"Where am I?"

"Avengers Tower. You took quite a risk there, Buck. We’re grateful you did, though."

Bucky glances at the bed he’s lying in, eyes shifting down to his arm. Or rather, where it should be.

"What’s going on??" he asks.

"Tony’s fixing you up," says Nat, giving Bucky’s other shoulder a friendly pat.

Just then, Tony walks in with a brand new metal arm - a more adaptable alloy, this one featuring a shield on the shoulder instead of the red star.

He carefully lines it up, sliding it into place. Bucky moves it experimentally.

The team looks at Bucky gratefully.

"You guys wanna give us a few?" Steve says.

The others clear the room, leaving only Steve and Bucky.

"Still taking care of me," Steve admits, shaking his head. He climbs into the little bed next to Bucky, the frame creaking under their combined weight.  
"Till the end of the line," Bucky says, pressing his lips to Steve’s, and ruffling his hair.

If the other Avengers hear the sound of a metal-frame hospital bed crashing to the floor, followed by giggles and some rather loud lovemaking.. to their eternal credit, they never say so.


	7. Chapter 7

It’s four months since Bucky saved the team, and he’s getting better every day. He and Steve are living together, and they’ve begun the trying process of legally bringing Bucky back from the dead.

Steve even surprises him one day by bringing a young woman to the apartment. She has blue eyes, dark hair, and a charming smile.

She’s also Bucky’s only living relative.

"Buck - I thought you might want to meet your great-niece. Hannah Barnes, meet your Uncle Bucky."

The two size each other up for a moment before Hannah bursts into a grin, throwing her arms around Bucky. She pulls away, tears in her eyes. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she says, smiling.

Bucky’s so choked up he can hardly speak. He brushes the young woman’s hair out of her eyes and squeezes her hands tightly.

They’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

——————

A few days later, Bucky wakes up to an empty bed. His heart skips a beat until he hears the shower going.

Steve must already be back from his morning jog. He turns his head, smiling into the pillow as he remembers the first time they fucked in that shower.  
They were still tender from their first two rounds in bed, sticky and debauched, when the warm spray covered them. Steve had pulled Bucky in close to him gently, still handling him with care.

Their bodies pressed together, Steve had slipped two wet fingers between the cheeks of Bucky’s ass. He’d rubbed him softly, teasing the pink rim as he nibbled lightly at Bucky’s neck.

"Fuck, I love you," Steve had moaned, pressing in, Bucky gasping as he did. Bucky wrapped warm, wet fingers around Steve’s cock and pulled at him, getting him rock hard again.

Using his free hand, Bucky had shifted Steve’s face into place for a deep, passionate kiss. He explored his mouth with his tongue, licking and teasing him. Steve had whimpered each time Bucky pulled away to breathe.

Bucky leaned in to whisper in Steve’s ear, as the hot water washed over them. “You are my home,” he’d purred, stroking Steve’s cock with one hand, his strong back with the other. “I belong to you and you are mine.” He shivered all over despite the heat. “Stevie, I need you to fuck me.” He turned pink all over.

"Please," he added, turning his back to Steve and reaching back to spread the cheeks of his ass.

"Fucking hell," Steve nearly growled as he saw Bucky present himself, soft and wet, naked and dripping. "It’s like you’re trying to give an old man a heart attack," Steve added with a smirk.

He wanted to one-up Bucky.

Steve dropped to his knees in the shower. “First things first, I need to taste you,” he’d said, nuzzling the hole and pressing his face between Bucky’s cheeks. Bucky had cried out as Steve licked him, teasing and working him open for several minutes.

Bucky had braced himself against the tiles, hips shaking as Steve pleasured him. Steve paused for breath, grinning and then pressing his teeth into Bucky’s ass cheek for a tender bite. He stood then, the warm water easing the way as he pressed his hard, dripping cock into Bucky’s waiting-

"Buck?" The voice breaks through his reverie. Bucky licks his lips.

"Mmm?"

Steve’s standing over Bucky now, observing the way he strokes himself, teasing himself. He’s still warm from his run and the hot shower. Steve leans in, lips carefully circling one pink nipple and sucking him eagerly.

He pulls away to speak. “What were you thinking about?” he purrs at Bucky.

"First time we fucked in your shower," Bucky admits, cock still thick and hard, Steve driving him mad with desire, past and present. He climbs into bed with him, heart racing.

Warm and wet from where he opened himself in the shower, Steve sinks onto Bucky. Bucky’s eyes shoot open in surprise.

"I think this calls for round two."


	8. Chapter 8

**Ficlet: Bucky Takes Care of Steve**

"I’m fine," a muffled, nasal voice says from a pile of blankets. "Really, go meet Tony. I know he wanted to do some more tinkering with your arm-"

"Not a chance, buddy," Bucky says, hauling Steve up and fluffing pillows behind him. "I wouldn’t miss a moment of this if you paid me."

Steve pouts.

"Lemme get this straight: you’re enjoying my illness?!"

"No, dummy. But super soldiers almost never get sick, and this might be my only chance to take care of you… like I did when you were 90 pounds and tiny." Bucky smiles at Steve. "I always loved taking care of you. Made me feel important, when I was just some little jerk from Brooklyn." He reaches out, a warm hand cupping Steve’s face.

Bucky takes his metal hand and feels Steve’s forehead.

"102.3," he says. "You’re a little elevated normally, but-"

"You got a thermometer in there now?"

"Thank Tony," Bucky grins with a shrug. Steve smiles back, then sneezes violently.

"Ugh," he says, pulling the blanket over his head. "I don’t wanna get you sick."

"You never did before, why would you now?" Bucky tugs the blanket down to Steve’s chin. "Sit tight, baby," he says, brushing a soft kiss to Steve’s hot forehead.

Bucky gets up and goes to the kitchen. He puts a pot of water on to boil, adding chicken stock and wild rice. He chops up some carrots and celery, dropping them in, along with some cooked diced chicken left over from the last time they grilled on the roof.

Bucky hums a happy little tune as he munches on a carrot. When the soup is ready, he spoons some into a bowl and puts some crackers on a side plate. He places it all on a tray and heads back into the bedroom.

"Budge up, Stevie," Bucky says, scooting him to sit up in bed. He puts the tray over Steve’s lap. Sitting beside him, Bucky takes the spoon and feeds Steve the soup slowly. He looks at the dark circles under Steve’s eyes, biting his bottom lip. When Steve finishes the soup and has munched on a few crackers, Bucky is satisfied enough to move the tray to the dresser.

"I’m still freezing," Steve says, imitating the whine he did before the serum, when he found any way he could to justify a cuddle with Bucky.

Bucky grins, climbing into bed with Steve. He slides in next to him, arms circling him, hand rubbing over his stomach. He lifts Steve’s shirt.

"Mmm… feeling any better?"

"Maybe a little," Steve replies.

"How about now?" Bucky asks, hand slipping down inside Steve’s boxers to give his cock a little stroke.

"Yeah," he breathes. "More, please Buck."

Bucky smiles mischievously and starts tugging him in earnest. Steve’s rock hard before long, and Bucky licks his lips, diving down to give him a little suck.

"Fuuuuck," Steve moans, hand stroking through Bucky’s hair. Bucky takes Steve deeper at the encouragement, fingers playing with his balls. Bucky slides off wetly to lick and nibble at Steve’s heavy balls, pushing his legs apart.

Steve’s nearly flailing in feverish pleasure. He needs to come. He’s close. “Bucky… I’m gonna…” he pants out moments before spilling into Bucky’s mouth and down his chin.

Bucky wipes his mouth clean. He licks his lips, resting his chin on Steve’s naked stomach.

"I prescribe one blowjob every four to six hours," Bucky says with a grin, "for optimum health benefits."

Steve giggles. “Only if it’s your mouth,” he says, brushing his fingertips across the soft, plump pink lips there. Bucky latches onto Steve’s fingers, then works his way up to his nipples, licking and teasing them.

Steve tugs Bucky up to kiss him passionately.

"Thank you," he purrs through a sniffle. Bucky smiles and makes himself a cozy human blanket, cuddling and covering Steve.

He’s pretty sure Steve will be better after his nap.


	9. Chapter 9

**Ficlet: Steve Wants to Talk**

"Hey, Buck?"

"Hmm?"

"You awake?"

"No, Stevie, I’m sleeping… ow!"

Bucky rolled over to face Steve in bed. He cracked both eyes open and made a grumpy face.

"Ok, what do you want?" he asked, voice lacking the hard edge he meant to use.

Steve grinned, teeth almost glowing in the moonlight streaming in their window.

"You."

Steve wrapped both arms around Bucky, pulling him in close and kissing him. Bucky wanted to protest. He really thought he should protest. He was so comfy and asleep before and Steve’s lips are really, really soft and why did he want to stop again?

Seconds later, Bucky gave a little growl and rolled on top of Steve. “You asked for it, punk,” he said, lips meeting Steve’s neck in a warm, wet kiss that trailed down and across his collarbones.

Steve almost purred with delight as Bucky showered him with kisses.

"Buck?"

"Mm?" Bucky replied between kisses.

"I wanted to ask you about… what happened to you… it just never seems like a good time." Steve bit his bottom lip nervously.

Bucky huffed out a breath.

"Heh. But now, at two in the morning after you’ve woken me *and* gotten me hard seemed like a good time? Jesus, Stevie," Bucky said, rolling onto his back and sighing.

Steve rolled onto his side, propping his head in one hand.

"You’re right, Buck. I just… wanted you to feel safe. In a good place, a happy one, y’know?"

"I’m always in a good place when I’m with you, dummy," Bucky prodded, poking Steve in the stomach with a surprisingly gentle metal finger. Steve lowered his head to the pillow.

Bucky licked his lips. “Okay, Stevie. After I fell… I landed at the bottom of the ravine. Zola and his men must have seen it happen, because I woke up and there they were, hauling me away. I passed out a few more times before they… realized my arm would never be strong again. Not for what they wanted me to do.”

He paused, voice tight.

"They took it," he continued, "and gave me this one. The whole time I was barely under, I could hear Zola saying I’d be a brutal killing machine, unstoppable. The moment I woke up… I… I killed them all."

Bucky’s face was tense. He met Steve’s gaze in the almost-pitch black room. Steve didn’t flinch. He reached out, brushing a hand through Bucky’s hair.  
"Go on," he said gently. Bucky took a breath.

"Zola wasn’t there in the room, of course - but they realized pretty fast they couldn’t let me remember anything or I’d be out of control. That’s when they started to wipe me. I’ve… never felt so alone as that, Stevie. Just - cold. Not an empty cold, but solid, like a block of ice."

Bucky looked over at Steve again. “You were always so cold, before the war. I had to curl up with you in bed and- wait, I’m getting off course,” Bucky said, blushing.

Steve smiled. “Any story with us in bed seems relevant,” he said with a sweet wink.

"Well that’s just it," Bucky said, rolling onto his side to meet Steve’s gaze. "You were everything to me, Stevie. So everything reminded me of you. Only I didn’t know it was you… I thought I was crazy. But as soon as the memories started forming a picture in my head, HYDRA would wipe me again. Until the heli-carrier. Until you brought them down."

Bucky paused. “I have the horrors of so much bloodshed in my head,” he confessed, looking down. “But I also have something stronger. I have you.”

Steve’s smile spread across his face as he cuddled close to Bucky.

"You do have me," he said, nuzzling Bucky’s neck. He cupped Bucky’s face. "And I don’t know what horrors may be in your head, but I do know I want to give you more good memories than you know what to do with. So many… you’ll have to erase the bad ones to make room."

Bucky wrapped an arm around Steve. “If only it worked that way,” he sighed with a little chuckle.

"I’ll find a way," Steve replied. "Because I completely fucking love you," he added.

Bucky’s eyes shot open. “Whoa there, Captain America. That’s not like you to curse… unless you’re really worked up,” he said.

Steve nudged his hips into Bucky’s to reveal his pretty intense hard-on. “Who says I’m not? Emotional intimacy gets me all worked up,” he confessed.

Bucky reached down into Steve’s shorts and tugged a little on his cock as he moaned. Steve pawed at Bucky’s sleep pants and pulled them down enough to take Bucky’s length out and stroke him.

Bucky hummed sleepily as Steve pulled at him, and after a few minutes, his breathing evened out and slowed.

Steve made a face. “Buck?!”

"Hm? Huh?"

"Jerk - you totally passed out!"

"Well you did totally wake me up," Bucky jabbed, grinning sleepily. He leaned in to kiss Steve. The green digital numbers on their bedside table read 2:30.

Steve rolled onto his back.

"I’m sure you’ll make it up to me," he said with a little smirk.

"Be good and let me sleep," Bucky said, "and I might just wake you up with my tongue," he finished in a sinful purr.

Steve nodded, grinning. “Deal,” he said, curling up against Bucky and finally drifting off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Ficlet: Happy Birthday, Steve**

"Ahhh!! Hot hot hot hot!" Steve fanned his hand in front of his face. "You didn’t tell me these were spicy *habañero* pickles!!"

Sam and Tony cracked up over the barbecue, where Tony was fully decked out for the holiday with an American flag chef’s hat and a t-shirt with “Iron Chef” printed across the front.

"Sorry man, but you shoulda seen your eyes!" Sam chuckled, tears streaming down his face from laughter.

Bucky walked over from the sliding door, grinning contentedly at Steve. He loved being around his old and new friends, and he could hardly believe it had been nearly a year since he plucked Steve out of the Potomac and set about reclaiming his life.

He patted Steve on the back as he spluttered.

"Okay there Stevie?"

Steve made an annoyed face but sighed. “My lips are burning,” he said, an amused chuckle creeping into the statement.

Bucky leaned to whisper in Steve’s ear. “We’ll get them back,” he said, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"What’s this? No colluding at my grill," Tony said, eyeing them suspiciously and waving his tongs in a vaguely threatening manner.

Bucky pulled Steve away and the two of them wandered back into Avengers Tower, Bucky nodding in farewell.

"See you guys in a few," Bucky said.

He pulled Steve into the kitchen, smiling. Bucky opened the freezer and pulled out a carton of French vanilla ice cream. He put two large scoops on a pair of waffle cones from the pantry and handed one to Steve.

"Better?" he asked when Steve had had a few bites.

"Better." Steve blushed a little. He nudged Bucky with his shoulder. "Thanks."

"Don’t thank me yet," Bucky said, hauling out a small red, white and blue box.

Steve froze.

"Is that… Buck?"

"I woulda put it in your ice cream, but I didn’t wanna take the chance of you swallowing it," he said with a chuckle.

Bucky’s face lit up with a hopeful smile as he opened the box, dropping to one knee.

"Stevie," Bucky said, "will you make me the happiest man in the world… and marry me?"

Steve dropped what was left of the ice cream on the floor and pulled Bucky to his feet.

"Yes," he said, cupping Bucky’s face in his hands and kissing him soundly.

Bucky laughed lightheartedly, sliding the platinum band inlaid with two small diamond stars onto Steve’s finger.

Steve was beaming. He hugged Bucky tightly, eyes swimming with tears.

"I never imagined… I mean I dreamed of it but… that we could actually have this…" Steve trailed off, pressing his forehead against Bucky’s.

Bucky smiled, holding Steve in his arms and kissing him again.

"Stevie?"

"Yeah?"

"Happy birthday."

—————

Tony really should have seen it coming, but he didn’t. He pulled his Iron Man helmet on for training without looking inside it.

As he walked into the gym, Steve, Bucky, Sam and the others all tried to stifle their laughter.

They all failed miserably.

As the group roared, Tony slid his helmet back off and melted vanilla ice cream sloshed over his face.

"Come on!" Tony said, motioning at Steve and Bucky. "What about Sam?"

"He said he was sorry," Steve said with a shrug, as the chuckling continued.

The team trained together for a few hours before Nat cornered Steve, eyeing his ring.

"Rogers," she said, holding a clipboard, "we’ve got a wedding to plan."


	11. Chapter 11

**Ficlet: Post-Proposal**

Steve flung the door shut behind them the second they got home. He smiled at Bucky, pulling him in close for what was probably their 100th kiss of the night.

Or close to it. Natasha essentially ordered them to go home and have sex, because after the announcement was officially made and cheers given, Steve and Bucky were pretty much melting down the building with their sexual tension. They spent most of the evening joined at the hip and hanging all over each other and smooching repeatedly and Nat was the one who finally put her foot down.

"I love you guys, but you’re killing us here. Either give us something to *really* watch or go home and fuck each other’s brains out like you so clearly want to," she said, equal parts charming and shocking.

Steve and Bucky both turned bright pink at that. Bruce started choking a little on his burger and Clint patted him on the back till he could breathe. Tony and Sam just chuckled, and Thor was thoroughly engrossed in his Mac and Cheese but looked up at Nat’s little speech, raising his eyebrows.

Eventually, Steve and Bucky said their goodbyes, and back in the apartment, they were making good on the second option Nat suggested.

"Second best decision today," Steve said, unbuttoning Bucky’s jeans and his own. He unzipped them both, wiggling the fabric down their hips enough to pull both their cocks out. Steve took them both in one warm hand and started stroking slowly, teasingly.

"Wait - what was the best?"

"Getting engaged to you, dummy," Steve purred, guiding them to the bedroom where both men peeled the rest of their clothes off. Steve pushed Bucky in the chest and he fell back onto the bed. He licked his lips, studying the man before him.

"It all looks so delicious, I don’t know where to start," Steve purred, Bucky’s cheeks turning pink. He crawled onto the bed, pressing warm, wet lips to Bucky’s abs. Bucky’s cock bobbed against Steve’s chest, and he whimpered slightly but didn’t move to push Steve lower.

Steve got the hint on his own pretty quickly. He nuzzled his way down the well-defined V of muscle, making Bucky shiver and moan as he started licking his hard cock. Not sucking - just licking.

"Fuck, I love the way you taste," Steve murmured between licks.

Bucky smiled and tugged at Steve’s shoulders until he climbed up higher, kissing his lips. Bucky pressed in with his tongue.

"Love the way we taste together," Bucky said when he took a breath. He sucked on two fingers, slipping them down and back behind Steve, pressing between the firm, perfect cheeks of his ass. Steve gasped softly as he felt Bucky’s finger enter him.

They rocked together, kissing and rubbing everywhere they could touch. Steve smiled every time he caught sight of the ring around his finger, and Bucky kissed him each time he smiled.

"I like this."

"I can tell," Bucky said with a grin. He burrowed under the bed sheets and started to nuzzle Steve’s ass.

"Ah! Mmm… oh fuck, that feels good," he moaned as Bucky spread his cheeks and started exploring with his tongue. Bucky giggled and kept going, licking Steve eagerly as he whimpered and shivered above him.

When he was satisfied that Steve was wet, relaxed and ready, Bucky pulled back and slicked up his own cock with lube from their bedside table.

"Mmm… Stevie… you ready to take me?" he asked, hands stroking over Steve’s well-muscled thighs.

Steve looked over his shoulder and hitched up his hips, pupils blown wide open. He nodded, mouth slack. “Fuck me,” he purred.

Bucky was on him in a fraction of a second, cock easing in an inch at a time. Both men gasped in pleasure as they rocked into each other. Their hips snapped back and forth, a wet slapping noise filling the apartment.

Bucky pulled Steve up onto his knees, reaching down and stripping his cock.

"That’s it," he whispered into Steve’s ear. "Come for me, baby."

Steve spilled almost immediately into Bucky’s hand and Bucky followed, hips pulsing as Steve’s orgasm dragged him over the edge as well.

They flopped down onto the bed in an exhausted heap. Bucky reached for Steve’s hand and kissed the ring.

"I was always yours till the end of the line, you know." Bucky smiled. "Now the whole world will know it."


End file.
